Dating Recession 2025: Why Only 31% of Young Adults Date Monthly

Here's a number that might make you feel less alone: 86 percent of young adults expect to marry someday. Yet only 31 percent are actually dating monthly or more. That gap between what people want and what they do defines the "dating recession," and the data confirms you're not imagining it.

In the past year, 74 percent of women and 64 percent of men who hope to marry have dated rarely or not at all. The frustration is widespread: you send that text, try to plan something, or work up the courage to ask someone out, and nothing lands. The result is a quiet epidemic of prime dating years spent waiting on the sidelines. Here's what's actually happening, why, and what you can realistically do about it.

What the 2025 Survey Actually Measured

The data comes from the National Dating Landscape Survey, a nationally representative study of 5,275 unmarried U.S. adults ages 22 to 35. Researchers from the Institute for Family Studies and BYU's Wheatley Institute focused on the 86 percent who expect to marry someday. Their findings appear in the 2026 State of Our Unions report, which defines the "dating recession" as fewer dates during prime dating years despite clear long-term relationship goals. The survey reveals what people say is stopping them, making the patterns both relatable and honest.

The Core Pattern: Fewer Dates, Less Practice, Later Timelines

Only 31 percent of marriage-minded young adults date monthly or more. For women, that drops to 26 percent. For men, it's 36 percent.

The experience gap runs deep. Most people report a median of just three exclusive romantic partners in their lifetime. Fifteen percent have had none. Another third have had only one or two. Without practice, each date carries higher stakes, making the next one harder to attempt. Expected marriage ages are creeping upward too: median of 33 for women and nearly 35 for men. Later marriage isn't inherently bad, but paired with low dating activity, it creates years of waiting that can feel like permanent standstill.

Cause #1: Money and the Rising Price of 'Going Out'

Financial barriers topped the list, cited by 52 percent of respondents. Men felt it more acutely: 58 percent said they didn't have enough money for dating activities, compared to 47 percent of women.

Modern dating defaults to commercial activities: dinners, drinks, events, rideshares. LendingTree data reinforces this: 19 percent of daters are going on fewer dates specifically because of inflation. Among those actively dating, 77 percent say more money would make dating easier. Average date costs range from $77 to nearly $200 when you include grooming and transportation. That makes frequent dating unsustainable, especially early in a career or while managing student debt. The math is simple: when each date costs a significant chunk of your weekly budget, you go on fewer of them.

Cause #2: Low Confidence and the 'Dating-Skills Gap'

Nearly half of respondents (49 percent) report low confidence in their dating abilities. That includes initiating conversations, asking someone out, choosing compatible partners, and sharing feelings at appropriate moments.

Researchers call this the "dating-skills gap." Young adults have high expectations for marriage but haven't practiced the smaller steps that lead there. Confidence in approaching someone romantically is low: only about one in three men and one in five women feel confident doing so. That hesitancy creates a feedback loop. You avoid asking because you're unsure how, and you stay unsure because you never practice.

Less in-person community mixing and more screen-based interaction mean fewer low-stakes chances to flirt, read social cues, or recover gracefully from a misstep. When confidence is already shaky, the perceived risk of rejection feels bigger than it is.

Cause #3: Trauma, Bad Experiences, and Post-Breakup Hesitation

Almost half of young adults (48 percent) say past traumas or bad experiences deter them from dating. Breakups hit hard: 55 percent say previous breakups make them more reluctant to start again. Only 28 percent remain positive after setbacks.

Dating inherently involves micro-losses: mismatched effort, ghosting, gentle rejections. When resilience is low, one or two rough experiences trigger long pauses. New daters fear that first painful ending. People returning after divorce or long relationships fear repeating old patterns. The survey reveals a collective bruising: people want connection but protect themselves by staying out of the game.

Sociological Layer: Dating App Culture, Choice Overload, and Disillusionment

The survey didn't directly measure app usage, but the environment matters. Apps increase exposure but often reduce follow-through. Endless swiping, mixed intentions, and normalized ghosting create exhausting friction. When your confidence and resilience are already low, app volatility makes opting out feel like self-care.

Apps work for some people, but they require skills many users haven't built: clear messaging, quick screening, and boundaries around time and emotional investment. Without those skills, apps amplify the very barriers the survey identifies: cost (more first dates that go nowhere), confidence (quick rejections), and trauma (repeated ghosting).

Myth Check: It's Not Just a Hookup Culture Story

Most young adults want serious relationships. The survey found that 83 percent of women and 74 percent of men strongly endorse dating for the purpose of forming serious connections and emotional bonds. This isn't about fear of commitment. It's about obstacles to initiating the kind of dating people actually want.

The recession isn't happening because people don't care. It's happening because the path from interest to relationship has gotten rockier. Understanding that can reduce the shame. You're not flaky. You're navigating a tougher landscape.

What This Means for You If You're Single Right Now

Fifty-one percent of respondents describe themselves as single but interested, with interest higher among men (60 percent) than women (47 percent). The dating pool exists. It's just full of people stuck at the starting line.

Here's how to work with the three main barriers:

If money is your blocker: Normalize low-cost dates. Walks, coffee, free museum days, and community events count. Talk early and casually about expectations: "I'm trying to keep things simple while I get to know someone." Planning ahead lets you find happy hours or free activities without the last-minute scramble.

If confidence is your blocker: Think in terms of skill reps, not perfection. Practice small talk with strangers in low-stakes settings. Ask someone for a specific, low-pressure meetup: "Would you want to grab a coffee this week?" Learn to state your intentions simply: "I've enjoyed getting to know you and want to see if we connect in person." Each small win builds momentum.

If past pain is your blocker: Pace yourself. It's okay to take months off after a tough ending. When you're ready, set small boundaries: one date per week, not daily app checking. Process what happened with a friend or therapist so you don't carry the whole weight into the next connection. Resilience comes from tolerating the natural starts and stops, not from avoiding them entirely.

For app navigation: Use apps intentionally. Set a time limit. Swipe with a clear filter: "I'm looking for people who want something serious." Move to a simple, low-cost meet quickly rather than investing weeks in chat. If someone isn't responsive, move on without personalizing it.

The Path Forward

Most young adults still want marriage. Yet most aren't dating much right now. The data points to three major roadblocks: affordability, confidence gaps, and post-breakup reluctance, all amplified by an app-heavy environment and later timelines. A better dating life in 2026 isn't about trying harder. It's about making dating doable again by lowering costs, rebuilding basic skills, and strengthening resilience. The recession is real, but it's not permanent. Small, consistent changes can make the path forward feel less like a high-wire act and more like a normal part of life.